re-form (v) - to amend or improve by change of form or removal of faults or abuses.
This is exactly what I need to do, like, it seriously applies to every aspect of my life ever.
* To amend or improve by change of form - Obviously I would love to change the form of my body. Please. I just need to lose this weight.
* removal of faults - ok, I have a TON of faults. Really, I do.
----------1. I can't be happy with other people's success. When someone is better than me I want to tear them down, instead of building myself up. This is something I'm really not happy about. I'm really going to work on this.
----------2. I lie. ALOT. I'm admitting this one time only. And on an anonymous online blog. I will never say this again, or in real life. If I did, a ton of people would hate me. I NEED to stop lying.
----------3. I'm really super lazy. This one is killing me in school. I must get my act together or I can say goodbye to college, my sorority, my boyfriend, all my sisters, my future. It's scary how fast I could lost it all.
I know I have other faults, but these are just the ones that are super problematic/ really bothering me right now.
* removal of abuses - I abuse alcohol. And weed. And I use my drunken/high state as an excuse to do bad things. My boyfriend should seriously dump me. I deserve it.
Sooo this entire thing feels like a ton of self hate or something and you might be worried I'm gonna go cut myself now or something. But don't. It's really just motivating me. I want to change. I want to be a better person. I want to reform.
I saw this picture in SELF. I freaking love it. She's not like perfectly skinny, but she's close. And she's surrounded by hot guys. This is my motivation to make it to the gym this week.