I'm failing. That's why.
I'm not actually failing. I have a D in Chem 1, even though I'm really good at chem. I got a 61% on my first test and an 83% on the second. And I never do the homework because it's all online and I don't have a computer so it's like a lot of work to walk all the way to the library to do chemistry. Don't worry, I did my homework tonight. I don't know what I have in chem lab. I forgot to turn one of the labs in so I'm thinking a really bad grade. I did awesome on the midterm though. I don't know what I have in Bio either but I'm think really bad. I got a 73% on the first test, no clue what I got on the test I had on Monday and I honestly never do the homework for that class because the library computers won't pull up the program we do that homework on. I have a hopefully C in college algebra. I'm taking a final for that next week I think and I need a C in that class to move on to trig for the rest of the semester. Which I hope I do because I need to take calc next semester. Plus my parents would kill me.
I think my parents killing me is the reason I'm freaking out so much about grades. But them telling me to put money into my tuition like they said I wouldn't have to do, instead of buying a lap top is the reason why I'm doing so badly. They were like "It's not like you're taking an English class this semester so I think you'll be alright until the semester. " Sorry mom and dad but they've invented these nifty little things called computers since you've been in school and EVERYTHING is done on them now.
I know I NEED a computer ASAP but I don't want to call my parents and tell them for two reasons. One, I know they're really stressed financially and even buying a super cheap one for like $400 would put a ton of stress on them financially. Second, that would require me to tell them just how badly I'm doing in school. And I really don't want to do that.
Speaking of terrible conversations with my parents. I need to get on birth control. And seeing as I don't have any money, it would be really nice if they would pay for it. And I wouldn't have to feel like a skank and go to Planned Parenthood to get it. I could go to a legit doctor. I just don't want to have that conversation with them. WAY too awkward.
I know you're probably thinking that a lot of my problems would be solved if I would just get a job. And you're right. However, it's like impossible for me to get a job. My parents won't let me get an off campus job. Plus I don't have a car (or a license) to get there anyway. I would LOVE an on campus job, but my school only allows students with "financial need" to get an on campus job. This is where my parents screw me over again. They make a shit ton of money, and then spend it all. So here I am with no money, and the government says I have no financial need. EFFFF!
College also sucks because I'm fat. And fat people can never be happy, obviously.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just feeling so stressed out right now :(