Monday, February 21, 2011

Waiting for the day I'm complete without you, I'm doing what I can to let you be.

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. And sorry I have been eating so much lately. And sorry I haven't been working out. And sorry I'm a complete failure.

I have no idea what's been going on with my life. I go back and forth with everything all the time. Sometimes I'm happy and motivated. Sometimes I can't come up with a reason to get out of bed.

I keep wanting to be back with Alex so effing bad. Well, no, idk. I'm doubting whether or not I would want to go back to him if he asked. Which is really confusing me. Him telling me that he wants me to grow up, see other people, understand relationships makes a lot of sense. And it seems like he's wanting to get back together later...with like how he acts and stuff. And I really think that's the best decision right now, I just hate thinking about him finding someone else and then never wanting to come back to me. I'm such a retard.

I'm feeling better about my sorority though. I haven't comepletely forgiven everyone for shit that they do, but I'll put on my happy face and deal with it. Plus Joy and my big sister Emily have been so great to me lately.

I really don't feel good in general right now though. I have a fever, headache, and everything on my body hurts so bad. Like my joints are soooo stiff. Hopefully I'll feel good enough to go to the gym tomorrow.

I really want to start getting in a really good routine, not eating, working out, doing my homework, and tanning (yeah I know it's bad, I don't care). But I have no money to tan, no motivation to do homework or not eat and I feel too sick to workout. Hopefully this doesn't last.

On the brightside, I did meet this really cool guy on Thirsty Thursday last week and we talked and played drinking games for like 4 hours and he seemed kinda into me. I just added him on facebook. I'll let you guys know if anything happens!

I've been wandering around outside a lot lately because it's starting to get nice out again. Always all alone with my dreams.

1 comment:

  1. yay! new boyzz!! that's the best isn't it? sorry you feel so awful, but things will get better before you know it. i want to go tanning too, but I know my dad would flip his lid if I ever did. have a great wednesday tomorrow!!!