I'm feeling so down right now.
No where feels like home. I have no desire to do anything other than be around my friends. But I can't be around my friends cuz I'm stuck at my fucking house. And they don't seem to be missing me much.
I actually feel like I'm not even allowed to be at my sorority house when I'm there for some weekends. I've decided if I go back to campus, I have to find somewhere else to stay. And I'm really not close enough to anyone else.
I want to go back to school there and be back in my sorority and everything be good and shit, but it won't be. Haters gonna hate. Girls won't want me back because I didn't try at all last year. LIKE WTF. Nobody just lays in bed all day and then goes and gets fucked out of their mind on the weekends and end up crying her eyes out by the end of the night because they;re lazy. Obviously something was wrong. And if you're a good enought sister to be "worried about my future", you're a good enough sister to be worried about maybe my present condition. I'm not saying fuck it all, because that's what I want, it's just how it feels sometimes.
And this isn't to bash greek life at all. Honestly, my sorority is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But you have to take the bad with the good, and right now I'm having a problem seeing anything that doesn't suck.
The future is bleak. there's nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one will surprise me. everything is sooo fucking typical.
I understand completely! Thats what I did majority of the time when I was in my old flat... no one really seemed to think that there could in fact be something wrong, my old flatmates turned it into a all about them scenario. I do hope your situation gets better love, and I hope that you will soon be welcomed back to the sorority xx
ReplyDelete+ remember you can rant and rave to me when ever!!! xxx