I'm really really really sorry guys
but I am drun k as fuck.
sorry
but anyway
I love Alex. Seriously. Like, end of story.
I didn't love the security. or the fun. or the entire house of guys who automatically have to like you. or just having a boyfriend.
I love him. I knew it after hanging out with him like twice. there's something about him that no other guy will ever ever ever be able to match.
That much I know.
What do I do? I want to die without hi,m. which sounds pathetic as fuck. But he literally made my life. wtffffffffuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck. I miss him so much. but he won't talk to me seriously. and he doesn't care because he just doesn't think about it. that' is a quote. what the fuck. I could do way better than him but I don't want to. hwe was perfect. for me. I wish I would have never listened to my friends because they turned out to not be true friends. he was the real deal, they were'nt
so anyway advice? I just need advice in general. I need a lot of help.
I need this, you can't deny you feel it, it's either or. Tell me it's over, everything you hoped for. tell me either way, I know you know I never let this go.
I think it won't seem like such a big deal after you sober up a bit. And if it still hurts like this, remember that life moves on. I got dumped on my ass in January by the guy I consider the love of my life. I still love him with all my heart, but it hurts a lot less than it used to. The point of the matter is that time helps. A lot. I hope things get better for you, darling. If you need to talk, message me. Stay strong <3
ReplyDeletemy advice? my cold hard advice? you need a plan. and here's my version of the plan, but you can edit it if you wish.
ReplyDelete1) stop drinking. I know it's tough but summer is coming and the pressures of greek life will ease up. seriously, get this shit under control before it eats you alive.
2) find a hobby or a pass time or whatever. preferably, something towards your life or academic goals. but if it's like baking or whatever than that's cool too. just find something to focus on
3) learn to say no to talking to Alex. He obviously doesn't think your worth the time so why give him yours? you are better than this. you are better than loving someone who doesn't reciprocate. ya need some self respect, girl. So when he fb chats you or texts, say your super busy with something and make him feel like you've got a list of priorities and he is not on top of that list anymore. at this point, there has been too much negative energy in the relationship for it to work. so let it go. yeah, it hurts, but it's also the only way for you to be happy in the long run.
4) don't make this mistake again. When you feel like someone starts taking over your emotions and brain energy like Alex has been doing for about 5 months, slow things down. You need independence from the guy. He CANNOT be your entire life.
5) Find a way to party and have fun without losing your composure. This was freshman year, but don't let it turn into your life. Sure guys love to party with a drunk girl who they know they can take advantage of, but they don't respect her. And respect is key in any relationship worth anything.
Sorry for the tough advice but sometimes you have to kick the people you love in the ass. I've really grown to care about you these past months and I don't want you to be miserable about Alex anymore. I also don't want your drinking to catch up with you. You are better than the place you keep putting yourself in.
lots of love (even if today it is tough love),
xx Jackie