It's been a crazy couple of days in Haley World. I've decided that I will not be returning to school here next semester. I think that will be the scariest thing I will ever have to do.
There's a reason for this. I moment that pushed me completely over the edge and made me realive that I need to step back from this all and take a break. But it's just a long, boring drunk story. Basically I've learned that I need to stop caring about people who don't give a shit about me. And right now, if I'm really just focusing on myself, I need to be focused on school.
I went from wanting to punch someone in the face, wanting to die, wanting to run away and never come back, wanting to stay here and quit my sorority, to wanting to spend a semester at home, and then come back here, to my sisters.
So my plan is to move home at the end of the week, get a job, save money, take classes at the community college by my house, get awesome grades in those classes, and just focus on me for awhile. I need to learn how to stand on my own, and not rely on other people for all of my emotions, while focusing on school.
I think this will be best for me. I've kept this idea in the back of my mind for awhile now, but I never really had the courage to actually admit that it's the right decision.
I'll have to call my dad tomorrow and tell him about this. He already has an idea that something serious is up because of what happened this weekend, but I'm really nervous about telling him. I'll also have to tell my friends. And talk to the registrar's office at my school to learn about what I have to do to take a semester off. And talk to my sorority chapter's president so I'll know what I have to do to go alumn and then reactivate later. I'd be going crazy right now trying to deal with that alone if I hadn't just finally figured some shit out.